The Luckiest of Them All

Talking to him was similar to writing.

I didn't know how to articulate how I felt
until I looked him in the eye
and built up the courage
to put pen to paper.

Anything short of complete and utter honesty
would be wildly insulting.

He is all of the
words
worlds
and bravery
I never knew I had inside of myself.

We unearth the truth in each other
and that's why we we're the luckiest of them all.

We found wells that ran deeper than
the streams most others dreamed of.

I was his well and he was mine.

I think that's what everyone is searching for.

How lucky we are indeed.

The Day My Bed Swallowed Me

I was afraid to sleep in my own bed.

I'd climb under the sheets and get all situated
only to find that the person I loved wasn't there.
Only in my head.


I don't know what's worse.
To hide under this mountain of sheets
until you come back or to rip this bed off
like a bandaid, every morning and
convince myself I can handle this.

Standing Up

You get up
and you fall down.
So you cry and you heal
but at least you know the growth is real.
Put a band-aid on your knee, wipe your tears.
You fall down
but you get back up.

My New House

In the face of love

everything in my body shook

like a house on stilts 

in a hurricane.

But I'm not worried.

A new house is coming soon.

Found Her in the Forest

You walk in and see her.
She's fierce and confident and
carries herself with a silent strength.

You ask others about her.
Most don't know much.

They tell you she has scars
on her hands from holding
her war-torn heart together,
she's got gun powder
caked under her fingernails
and calluses on her palms
from all the grenades she's
tried to stop.

They tell you she fought to be where she is and you like that.

You don't see her as they do.
You see her as a brick wall about to fall.
Strong skin but a heart more
tender than the most delicate garden.

She's shown her forest mind to few and they've always run.
But not you.

Shes hid in her forest for as long as she can remember, like a pearl
that didn't want to be found.
But you did.
You saw her.
And that's how.

That's how you got the girl.

So Much More

We wanted only a taste of the ocean, she wanted more.
When we had our backs turned she swallowed our shoes
we left behind the shore.


She always gets what she wants.
The shore and so much more.

In All My Years

They say we're all just trying to survive.

But why?

In my own personal experience 

I have found that "surviving"

dissects your heart from your soul,

making you bitter and resentful. 

In all my 20 years

this is what I have learned:

do everything you can to avoid

a hard heart, buy the shoes, make eye contact, 

forgive the boy that broke your heart and

be kind to everyone you meet.

The world looks too much like the hands of a skilled tradesmen-calloused and hard.

The world doesn't need more calloused, it needs

more compassion. 

Life's too short

to just survive.

Room

"What are you afraid of? What's holding you back?"

I guess I'm just afraid of loving someone so much

that there's not enough room

for them to love me back.

Table Talks

Came home one night to find

my heart and my mind

all patches and bruises,

sitting at the kitchen table

waiting for me.

"What do you want?"

All I could muster.

"Write the letter and let him go. 

We can't do this much longer."

The Greatest Joke Ever Told

Here's the thing about love.

Whether you think it's 

big or small,

for you or against you,

the greatest verb in the world

or the biggest joke ever told,

acknowledge that it's real.

You can't run from it

and that's okay. 

Be at peace with this

and you'll be alright.

Eve's Fall

Outside of Eden, after the fall, I wonder
if Eve had to convince Adam
to love all of her flaws?

That's what we all do.
We just want someone to love
past our "I don't need you".

Some of us just hide it better than others.

I Prayed Today

I said a prayer for you today.

I prayed you would have the courage
to come face to face with a mirror
and be proud of what you saw.

I prayed you would speak
with a gentle strength that
would bring people's walls
to their knees.

I prayed you stop hiding from your fears
and be brave enough to recognize that they're
just mannequins wearing masks.

And I prayed you would stop putting my name
and her name in the same category, like we were
ever the same person.

I prayed for me, too.
I prayed that I could move on
and know, in my heart, that I am strong.
I am strong on my own.
I'm strong without you.

For a while I regretted it, but now I see.
The person I needed to pray for the most was me.

My Hands Are Full

Don't try to hold my hand when
yours are full of loneliness.
I won't be able to mop up
the mess that's left and I
like what I have in my
hands right now.
Like healing and learning-and writing.
Yeah, that's good for me.

I don't have room to dwell on you
cause you'd be disappointed and
I would have nothing to carry.

19

Rushing through years
like i've got a lot to spare.
Hard eyes and calloused feet,
these 19 years have been rough on me.
I can focus on the pain, that would be so easy.
Or I could focus on the journey where life has taken me.
Got a lot of plans
that need a lot of prayer.
Pretty big dreams I need to put on page.
I can't be scared anymore.
Can't stop myself, wouldn't be fair.
Gotta wake up, can't sleep anymore.
The time is now .
Gotta open the door.

Fighting For the Light

Here's the thing.
That person you don't think you'll ever get over?
You will.
After days and years and fighting
you'll make it out with one hell of a scar
and a heart that can handle more than you thought.

My advice for the heartbroken.
Fight for the light and the air that will let you breathe again.
Moving on isn't unattainable, it just takes healing
and lots and lots of time.

Tea For One

You know those people
who speak with words
that fill up your cup?

And when they leave
you find yourself missing that tea?

As it turns out,
with the healing and the steeping I have done,
I have found each person can fill
their own cup
with their own type of tea.

Honey. Two sugars.
The usual, please.

It's time to find it in yourself
to be your own brand of free.